Wednesday, November 24, 2010

#414 - Oh my MILFing god...




Hey, that's cute. It's one of those baby t-shirts with the shocking sayings on it. Way to go being "in your face" and confrontational with your humor, new parents! Let's see, I know what "MILF" stands for, so that means that little Billy's expressing, "My mom is a mom I'd like to..." OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!

On the other hand, it does explain his ears.

#415 - When you just can't wait to commemorate

“Hey, Grampa, what’s that?”
“Why Billy, this is a coin commemorating the tenth anniversary of the September 11 attacks.”
“Didn’t that happen in 2001?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Because this is 2010, and that’s only nine years ago. Why didn't they make it a ninth anniversary coin?”
“Well, nine years just doesn’t sound as good.”
“Yeah, nine isn’t as cool as ten. I’m nine, so I should know. But they should have just waited until next year to make it. It's stupid to make one in the wrong year.”
“Well, this way collectors like me can buy them early. And so that people can think about the tenth anniversary a year in advance. It makes it special, see?”
“I guess. Why don’t you just think about the ninth anniversary?”
“Well, like you said, nine isn’t as ‘cool’ as ten. Here, check this out. The silver parts of the coin flip up and it looks like the ship is going past the buildings.”
“What boat is that?”
“It’s not a boat; it’s a battleship, the USS New York. It was made from steel that was salvaged from the World Trade Center after it was bombed.”
“That’s the building there in the background, right?”
“Yes.”
“How can the boat be going by the building if they couldn’t make the boat until the building was blown up?”
“It’s not supposed to be real. It’s so people think about the ship and the building together, as the same thing.”
“So they used parts of the building to make something to get revenge on the people who blew it up, right? That's so cool! Like if somebody shot your arm off and then someone found it and used it to beat up the guy that shot you.”
“Well, not exactly...hey, the silver on that coin was pulled from the wreckage of the World Trade Center, too.”
“Cool, is there blood on it?”
“Um, no. It was in a vault under the building.”
“Oh, so the coin people stole it?”
“No, it was…well, now that you mention it, I’m not sure how they got hold of it. But I'm sure it's from under there. They said so in the commercial.”
“Do they sell other stuff from the building? I mean, can you get stuff from the offices, like printers and chairs and stuff? Or their computers! I bet those would be worth a lot! Dad’s office building is full of these really sick computers.”
“'Sick'?”
“If something’s really cool, you say it’s ‘sick.’”
“So do you think this coin’s 'sick,' Billy?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty sick, Grampa.”